JJ Cook

JJ Cook

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Lower your ears and get a free bowl of soup

I could use a haircut, but with the businesses all forced to close, its going to be some time before I can get a trim. My grandfather cut my hair every Saturday when I was young until I turned 12 when my dad allowed me to go to a real barber. Every saturday we'd go over to my grandparents house and he would set up in the kitchen, drape a bedsheet around me and prop me up on a stool. He called it 'Lowering your ears'. He would always put a bowl on my head and cut around that with his scissors and collection of electric razors. He said he got his haircut down at the mission, where he got a free bowl of soup after they were done and guys would use the same bowl for soup that they used on their head. My grandfather boasted how his soup bowl was bigger than most. When I got older, I realized the stories were just for my entertainment, but they did actually give free haircuts and had a soup kitchen at the mission. When the haircut was over, he always gave me a 50 cent piece to buy some candy, but said, don't tell your dad,"He only gets a quarter" LOL. Back to the problem at hand. Should I try cut my own hair? Nope, tried that once with terrible result. I saw in men's journal some tips for cutting your own hair.

1.Get the right tools.

a.Don’t get big scissors - Get little cuticle-nipping scissors

b.Get a good small-tooth comb

2.Part your hair the right way.

a.Wash your hair.

b.Part your hair at the outer edge of each eyebrow and comb the hair that’s below the part down on both sides.

3.Start cutting around your sideburns.

4.Cut into the comb. Pull your hair [on the sides] out with the comb and take your little scissors and nip at it. You don’t want to cut a straight line, a blunt cut. You want to cut into it (again, scissors perpendicular to the comb). This takes away length and weight without risking too much damage.

5.Trim the top. pull the hair on top straight up and cut into it. Start by cutting a centimeter and then continue from there.

6.Use a shaving razor or beard trimmer to clean up the edges.

There you have it. Look at what you’ve done. I suggest getting an opinion from someone who won’t lie to you. Then have a stiff drink, find a good hat to cover up your master-flop, and wait until the barbers and hairstylists are open again to fix your DIY haircut. Or go on to facebook and ask around ‘Who has a Flo-Be?”


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